


Hushed Souls

by ClarkeGriffinTitties



Series: Tumblr Prompts [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, F/M, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining, Post-Canon, Season/Series 05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-14 22:17:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15398715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClarkeGriffinTitties/pseuds/ClarkeGriffinTitties
Summary: Tumblr prompt: bellarke fight + “YOU LEFT ME!” and bellarke reunion angst + “I love you”Who knows how the acknowledgment of the radio calls and Bellamy’s reasoning for poisoning his sister will come up in canon, but I’ll live in my own little realm of blissful angst until then.





	Hushed Souls

The march seemed endless. It took several days to reach the valley and every time Bellamy saw a patch of green on the horizon, relief washed over him, before coming to realize, his eyes had betrayed him yet again. 

He couldn’t help but wonder if this was like what Clarke had felt all that time after Praimfaya.

Clarke.

The name alone brought tears to his eyes, as it had for the past six years, but now, knowing she was alive all along, he felt an even greater sadness. 

If only he had known. If only she could have reached him. Of course, even then, that wouldn’t have changed anything. They still wouldn’t have had the fuel to get back to the ground, but Bellamy couldn’t shake the feeling that he should have known. 

And now, even after every one of his Godforsaken prayers had finally come true, Bellamy still wished he hadn’t returned to the ground.

Clarke was happy. She had the life she always wanted and deserved, a sound coexistence with someone she loves; No hate, no war, no chaos; just sweet, everlasting peace. 

Then Bellamy reigned down from the sky, an impending dark cloud leaving nothing but disaster and grief in his wake. 

She could have lived out the rest of her days in Shallow Valley with Madi by her side, free of conflict or danger; Just the two of them. Damnit, she could have been _safe_

Of course, there was no telling if Eligius would have still departed to Earth, but even then, _he_ was the one to make the deal with Diyoza. _He_ was the person responsible for freeing Blodreina from Pandora’s box. And _he_ betrayed Clarke by allowing Madi to take the chip. It could have all been avoided if not for him. He was the man to blame for wreaking havoc on Clarke’s eternal serenity. She would never have that again because of _him._

And now, with Eden growing closer with each step, how could he blame Clarke for never forgiving him when he couldn’t forgive himself?  
The first sight of her upon returning to the valley left him speechless. His eye caught a bobbed blonde swimming through the blinding green of vegetation.

It had only been a few days, and yet, Bellamy felt like he was seeing her for the first time in six years, all over again. 

First came relief, an incredulous laugh rising to the surface, only to be subdued seconds later by the cruel lump in his throat. He took a few steps back, leaning his hands on his knees as he bent down, choking back an unbearable sob that ripped through any last remaining hold on reality. 

Pain, regret, grief; it all berated him in one senseless punch to the gut. Guilt, self hatred, horror; it suffocated him, leaving him heaving for his breath as if he was strung up in the air again, the noose determined to squeeze every glimpse of life from his struggling limbs. 

Bellamy began to feel his legs carry him in Clarke’s direction. He had to physically grab onto a nearby tree to stop himself. 

He couldn’t be selfish. Clarke hated him after he broke his promise to protect Madi. After all this time, she still trusted him. After all this time, she was willing to put her faith in him with the single most precious thing to her. She counted on him, believed in him, after six years, and he turned around and drove the dagger right into the flesh of Clarke’s back. He felt her skin give way as the pointed blade broke through, shattering whatever love she had left for him.

As Clarke’s eyes finally landed on Bellamy’s, he turned away, leaving his heart behind with the thousand unspoken words dangling lifeless from the tightening noose. 

As Bellamy walked away, Clarke fell to her knees, just as she had after Praimfaya, a silent scream tearing through the thick air, an all too familiar warmth hitting her cheeks as she wailed into the night. 

After having reunited with Echo and the others, Bellamy wandered off, digesting that this is where Clarke had lived since he had left, while Octavia rationalized how they would take the valley back from Diyoza.

He followed the distinct path carved into the land, worn from the many passes of the rover. The essence of Clarke vibrated in everything around him. The lush imagery imitated the soft curves of a pencil, every line delicately placed with purpose and intent. The sky reflected the tranquility crystallized in Clarke’s eyes, holding a globe of the Earth within their depth. The roots of the trees whispered her secrets, the birds sang her sorrow, the flowers embodied her ethereal aura, and the berries burst with her delight. Walking through Eden, thriving on her essence, it felt like the warmest of embraces; Clarke’s lips pressed into the dip of his shoulder, her breath tickling the side of his neck as she quieted his hushed sobs, one hand caressing his head, the other soothing his back. He finally felt home.

But Clarke chased after his trail of fallen tears, guided by her sheer desperation. 

“So that’s it?” she howled after him, her voice hoarse from her strained cries.

Bellamy dropped his head in shame, his shoulders tensing at the clear pain in her voice. 

Exasperated, he gave in, turning around, unable to meet her stare. He braced himself for her harsh, but deserved, words. He closed his eyes, the tears making their descent past his dispersed freckles. 

He could hear Clarke exhale into the thin silence at the sight of his disheveled appearance. 

“You promised, Bellamy.” 

The words jabbed at his heart and he could only squeeze his eyes shut tighter.

“I put my faith in you for six years and you broke my one promise.” Clarke said more to herself than Bellamy. 

“Clarke-” 

“No, no! You don’t get to just ‘Clarke’ me this time, Bellamy!” she cut him off, echoing his tone.

“What do you want me to say?” He brought his gaze to hers, hastily wiping away his newly shed tears that came as a result of the look of hurt in her eyes. “That I’m sorry? That I take it back?” He worried his lip between his teeth. “Because I don’t.”

Clarke shook her head in disbelief from what she was hearing.

“How can you say that?” She stepped closer to him now, jabbing a finger against his chest. “You don’t get to choose what happens with Madi. You don’t have a say in her decisions.” Her tone only rose. “She’s like my daughter, Bellamy. You had no right!” Clarke seethed through a clenched jaw.   
Bellamy did not falter. 

He stood his ground, keeping his eyes wide, even through the sting each word had on his soul. 

“This is not the Bellamy from my stories!” she sobbed.

Bellamy backed away at that, confusion taking over his defiance. 

“Wha-“ 

Clarke didn’t let him finish his sentence. “I told her you would protect her; do anything to ensure her safety when you finally came back to us! I trusted you with her. The Bellamy I knew would have never betrayed that trust. And now,” she raised a hand at him, trailing off for a moment. “Now, you’re standing right in front of me, but I’ve never felt more alone.” The words came spewing out of Clarke as though she was a broken faucet, the spout no match for the inner dam. “You left me, Bellamy. And I’ve been waiting for you to return to me for six years. I confided in you through that stupid piece of shit radio every day. For two-fucking thousand days. Imagine my surprise when you finally come back, only to put the one other person I had, in harm’s way.” she scoffed, this time being the one to turn her back and walk away. 

“You wanna know why I did what I did?” Bellamy called after her. 

Clarke paused, her gate falling out of sync. 

Bellamy took her hesitation as a cue. “I didn’t poison my fucking sister just to stop her from destroying the earth.” He knew he would only cause more issues for them if he continued, but he was running on adrenaline and hell if he was going to stop now. “And nope, guess again, not because she was going to kill everyone in the valley.” The words came out heated and sarcastic. 

“I did it for you, Clarke. Because I already lost you once,” He had to swallow the lump in his throat. “And I am not doing that again.”

“Seriously, Bellamy? You got through it once, so you would have been fine! My life does not come before Madi’s!” She yelled. 

“You really don’t get it, do you?” Bewilderment graced his features. 

“Please, enlighten me.” She didn’t hide the fury in her tone.

“I can’t lose you again, because I love you, Clarke.” His lips thinned into a straight line. “And if putting the AI in Madi would keep you alive, even if you hated me for it, then so be it.” He shrugged his shoulders, defeated. 

“It was worth the risk.” He mimicked her words spoken so long ago, now just the kiss of a memory of who they once were, and how far apart they had fallen.

**Author's Note:**

> come check me out at clarkegriffintitties on tumblr :)


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